Slow News 5

man lying on sofa
Sofa Research

Dear Member:

A new episode of Another World has arrived.

In other news

Ms. Pettigrew, the headmistress of the North Rompshire School of Manners, has published her first book. Slow Etiquette is receiving critical acclaim from booksellers as far away as Dampford and Nitwittington-on-Thames. The school will be offering additional courses this spring. New offerings include table manners with a module on lemon squeezing, elegant fainting, and sofa etiquette.

Sports

Outsider Daisy Plonk is Little Pillock’s new ladies’ egg-and-spoon-race champion, beating four-time ex-champion Marion Thumpington-Wallop. Special mention to six-year-old Clare Bing, winner of Keeping Still Sitting in a Chair event with a record time of 2 ½ minutes without wriggling. Bert Blog, the current Warmsley Valley Police talent scout and coach for the force’s standing-still team, took note.

Unfortunately, the gentlemen’s three-legged race was called off after judges had observed contestants drinking Weird Sister Tea before the event in the refreshment tent.

Yours in slowness,

Amanda

AMANDA GLADLY  
Office of the Secretary 
International Institute of Not Doing Much
Crumpetworthy Park 
Rompshire ROM 404B